Ray is an accomplished lover and I enjoyed having sex with him. However, Lee was still my husband, I hoped, and I still loved him. I did have a little trouble going to sleep, not knowing what I was going to have to face with Lee in the morning. Had I destroyed our marriage? That question made me feel sick at my stomach and I slept fitfully.
I gave up trying to get any real sleep about eight o’clock. I got out of bed without waking Ray and carefully opened the bedroom door. I was partially relieved and somewhat jealous when I saw that Lee was not on the sofa and it did not appear that he had slept there. I went to the kitchenette to start some coffee and then the pangs of jealousy really began to bite. Lee was in bed with Yvonne. Had he had sex with her? ‘What a stupid question.’ Until now he had been mine only, now what? Why wasn’t I stronger? Had my weakness destroyed my happiness? I didn’t have any answers. I was just getting sick.
Just as I was pouring a cup off coffee, Yvonne came out of the bedroom. She came in, said, “Good morning,” and quipped, “What’s wrong? “Was he too much for you?”
I swallowed my pride and said that everything was fine with Ray. Then I asked, “And how was Lee? She caught me by surprise when she said, “I don’t know. He came into the bedroom with me, put on his leather jacket and left. He wouldn’t tell me where he was going. He simply said, ‘I’ll see you later.’ You mean he’s not here?”
My heart sank. Had Lee left me? What was going to happen next? I started to cry and I asked Yvonne why she hadn’t let me know that Lee had left. She said she was sure he was coming back because he had left his belongings and she hadn’t come to me because there was nothing I could have done by the time she would have gotten me anyway. She was sure that he would have been back by now.
When I discovered Lee was gone, my voice rose and it woke Ray up. We told him what had happened and he went to the window and confirmed that the car was gone. We agreed that we might have to rent a car to get back home and were in the process of making emergecy plans when we heard the front door lock click and Lee walked through the front door.
I ran to him with tears in my eyes and hugged him. He gave a passive return hug. I asked him where he had gone and he told me he had to do some thinking and he needed to get away from the condo and the night’s activities.
Then he looked at me and asked in a rather disgusted voice, “Did you and Ray have a wonderful fucking time?”
That hurt. I looked down, and then at Ray, and then back at Lee and in a trembling voice said, “Yes, we did.”
He said, “Thanks for being honest.” Then he went and sat on the couch. Without paying much attention to me he went on to explain how he had been doing a lot of thinking and had finally realized that he had unwittingly set the whole thing up. He said he concluded that he didn’t think he would have acted differently if the roles had been reversed. However, he was careful to make the point that what I had done was hurting very much.
The conversation included all four of us and went on for about an hour. As we were coming to a conclusion, Ray and Yvonne explained that they were swingers, and that they had been for a long time. They quickly admitted that they now remember the pain they had felt the first time their partner had sex with someone else. They went on to tell how they had come to look at sex as a means of physical gratification with no deep emotional strings attached. They concluded by saying how they would love to have us join their group of friends, some of whom also belonged to the club.
We then went out for brunch and by the time we had eaten; almost all of the tension from the visit to the club had vanished. It was especially noticeable in Lee. I believe he had really accepted the blame for what happened and relegated it to an unfortunate happening that he wished he could undo. He really confirmed his turnabout when we returned to the condo.
First he asked if we were going clubbing again tonight. We all affirmed that we were up to it. He then said that we probably should get some sack time before we went out again.
With that he grabbed Yvonne by the hand and started pulling her toward our bedroom and said, “Yvonne I believe I am entitled to a romp with you.”
She was holding back and we all said that nap time would be after supper. . Lee continued to pull Yvonne as he said, “Oh, sure. You guys come in as though nothing happened and pull a switcheroo without any consideration for me. Because of it I haven’t had any sleep, or anything else. And now you tell me everything is off until tonight? C’mon Yvonne and help me relax and get some sleep.”
Yvonne laughed, stopped resisting and said, “Ok big boy if you think you are up to it, let’s go.” With that they disappeared into the bedroom.
I was shocked and I quickly found myself with an array of emotions fighting for priority. I was jealous. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I felt I was being cheated on. And, I was angry, really pissed. Lee was in the bedroom about to have sex with Yvonne. I started to cry as I slumped down on the couch and these emotions were wreaking havoc with me.
Ray sat down next to me and asked what was wrong. I told him really nothing, that I was just being silly. He then asked if I was upset with Lee being with Yvonne.
I didn’t respond immediately and then told him, yes. He put his arm around my shoulder and told me that what I was feeling was not unusual the first time-or-two around. Then he shocked me back to reality when he said, “Now you know how Lee was probably feeling earlier. In fact he probably felt worse because you made him watch.”
Ray was right. But even so, it didn’t make me feel much better, in fact now I felt worse. Now I had some feeling of what I had put Lee through. I could at least have been more discrete so that he didn’t have to watch it. Now, on top of this, the question came into my mind, has our marriage been totally jeopardized?
About forty-five minutes later, Yvonne came out. She was wearing only a robe and a smile. She looked at me and told me he was asleep. Then she said, “You have a great sex partner, you have trained him well. Rhonda, I would love to sleep with Lee again, but if you don’t mind I want him only as a sex partner from time-to-time. I’ll keep Ray as my regular.”
With that she went over and plopped herself in Ray’s lap and planted a big wet kiss on him. Then came the shocker; Ray smiled at her and said, “So that’s what Lee tastes like.” She snickered and said, “Not bad, huh?”
It was disgusting but I found some humor in it and it seemed to break the spell. I kind of accepted the fact that our sexual roles had now undergone a change, good or bad, but never-the-less a change.
We left a note for Lee and the three of us went boating on the lake.
When we came back from boating, Lee was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. I ran to him, put my arms around him, kissed him, and told him that I loved him.
He responded and told me that he loved me too. He smiled at Ray and Yvonne, rose, took me by the hand and said to them, “Please excuse us for a while. We need to talk a little.” With that he led me to our bedroom. Once inside he closed the door and took me in his arms and kissed me passionately. Then he pushed me away from him and told me that we really did need to talk.
He began by telling me how sorry he was for having pushed us into our present situation. He was almost in tears when he told me how much he loved me and that he never intended to let things get out of hand. He really was in tears by the time he got around to acknowledging that things had happened and that there was no way we could undo them.
I could tell, as he reached the end of his accounting, that what he was most worried about was whether I still really loved him. With that, I broke into tears and told him, with all the passion I could muster, that I loved him and nothing had changed in that department.
We talked for over an hour. We acknowledged that we had made a traumatic change to our marriage relationship. We had both broken our wedding vows and there was nothing we could do to reverse it. Of course, we spent a lot of time considering whether we wanted more. We asked the questions: Did we want more of the club? Did we want to join Ray and Yvonne in their swinger group? Should we quit now and get back to our former routines? If we decide to swing, would it eventually hurt our marriage and our love? We wrestled with these and a host of other questions.
In the end we decided that we would go back to the club again, enjoy ourselves, and then make future decisions once we returned home.
Even with our talk, I felt guilty in agreeing to go to the club again because I knew that if I went, that tonight was going to be at least as exciting and thrilling as last night, if not more so. I knew I would have sex at the club and I told Lee so.
Lee thought for a few moments and then shocked me with his reply. He said, “I wasn’t prepared for what happened last night. As a result I responded in a very unloving way. And I’ll be truthful with you by telling you that I enjoyed my time with Yvonne earlier. I now understand what you meant about love and sex not being the same. Sex can be enjoyable without having attachments with it. But, one thing, I haven’t come to a point where I can watch you. If something happens, please don’t make me watch again.”
After we finished our talk, I said to Lee, “Oh honey, I’ll never make you watch, I’m sorry about last night.” Then changing to another set of thoughts I said, “You know what? Regardless of what we do in the future, I think this experience has made me permanently horny. I want you in me right now.”
We made love like we have never done before. It was wonderful. It was totally fulfilling, and it was LOVE. For the first time, I believe we both understood what real love making was about and how it differed from pure lustful sex.
When we went back to the living room, Ray had left a note that they were going to the restaurant next door for some supper. We joined them there and had supper.
Yvonne couldn’t wait. Before we finished supper she wanted to know if we would join their group. We told them we couldn’t answer that right now.
Then Ray wanted to know if we were going back to club with them tonight.
Lee smiled and said, “We certainly were.”
Now I was getting excited about going back and was beginning to wonder what new kind of sexual fulfillment the night would bring.
About eleven o’clock we went to our rooms to get ready. I put on my second new outfit. First a lacy garter belt and very sheer black stockings followed by a pair of very sheer hip hugger panties and a sheer demi-bra. Over this was a front-buttoning, white, sheer dress with a very low scoop neckline. The dress hem was just above the knees. And of course the black patent 5″ fuck-me heels finished everything. Looking at myself in the mirror I could clearly see my bra and panties. I could faintly see my dark nipples and if I weren’t shaved, I could have seen my pubic hair. In short, I was covered but not hidden.
When Lee saw me I think he had second thoughts about going to the club because he said, “You’re going to get fucked again tonight.”
I couldn’t tell whether he was upset or whether he was ok with my appearance. I told him we could still back out if he didn’t want to go.
He paused and then smiled and said, “Let’s go. We’ve already crossed the line and I’m going to have fun tonight too.”
His reply caused a knot to form in my stomach. He had just told me he was going to put his wonderful cock into someone other than me. The full impact of having him with another woman slapped me right in the face again and I said, “Lee, let’s stay here and have the night to ourselves.”
He replied that we might as well go and that Ray and Yvonne were counting on us.
Then a rush came over me knowing what I most certainly would do if I went back. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to be honest with him and I went to him and hugged him, and took him in my arms. Then I said, “Honey, I love you and I have to be honest with you. I told you before we came about my misgivings with the club. I didn’t know what it was before we came but now I know. What happened last night came from a side of me that I didn’t really know existed. With one exception I can think of, I have never had anything excite me sexually like what happened.”
“The previous time was that time when I embarrassed us at your folk’s place. You remember the time where you got carried away eating me out? I asked you to stop, that I was getting carried away, and you didn’t stop. You took me to a screaming climax; you remember it was literally a screaming climax that had your folks rushing in to see what happened? Well, that’s somewhat like the way the club affected me. I wasn’t screaming, but the feeling was similar.”
He acknowledged that he remembered well. “I wish I could tell you that last night was a big mistake and that I am sorry about it, but I can’t. I enjoyed it and except for hurting you, I don’t regret what happened. I can tell you now that when I am subjected to an atmosphere like that at the club, the ‘other me’ comes to the surface and you saw what happened. You said a minute ago that I was going to get fucked tonight, and right now I’m sure you’re right and I’ll probably do it more than once.”
I could see Lee’s face drop with the last statement. I knew this was hurting, but I had to be truthful with my only love.
I went on, “I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but it is the truth. If I go to the club, I’m going to participate in the manner for which the club was designed. Now I won’t be upset, nor will I hold it against you if we don’t go, but I want you to know how I feel and what to expect if we do go. I love you and I will do whatever you decide is right and I’ll love you for whatever decision you make.”
When I finished, I stepped back and I could see little tears forming in his eyes. I felt like hell. I was tearing him up. He stood silently for a few moments, looking at the floor hoping I wouldn’t see the tears.
Then he looked up and smiled and said, Honey, thank you for your honesty. I don’t think you told me anything I hadn’t already figured out. But I love you for leveling with me and I’ll be honest with you, I never dreamed what has happened would happen. You tried to warn me and I just never imagined the lusty sexpot sleeping in you. What is done is done and since we are here, we might as well ride to the end of the line. I’m just going to have to get used to another woman in my life.”
Then he stepped forward, took me in his arms and gave me a warm, passionate, loving kiss said, “Let’s go to the club and let’s have a good time. As long as you love me, I’ll do anything to make you happy.”
I was fighting tears. I grabbed his hand and said, “Let’s go before I ruin my makeup.” Saying that I immediately started to question whether going back was the right thing to do. Now I knew what it felt like to have him fuck someone else.